No Politeness, No Boundary

Here’s a thought I fail to understand: How is it that I am used to withstanding rude behavior from my male cousins, uncles, and elders?

There’s no rulebook that says that I, then, have to follow these guidelines.

“Oh, but Fasha, you have to come greet your relatives. You have to make them tea and biscuits to present to them. And you have to talk to them, interact with them, show how polite you are!”

Hahaha, NO.

First off, I hate interacting with people. Be it relatives, strangers, or even at times, friends. I am a classic case of the introvert — I hate socializing, I hate trivial banter and over-the-top discussions about where I got my fucking dress from.

If, by some miracle, I actually feel like going out into the world and doing things, you might catch me being more social than usual and say hello. I mean, say hello regardless. I won’t bite. It’s just those forced situations where you’re supposed to act like “a presentable, young lady” that piss me off.

Fuck you, I am in the middle of watching the latest RoosterTeeth Let’s Play, I have no time to say the exact same thing I say every time you visit our house, before awkwardly sitting for 5 minutes and ultimately leaving.

But I think what angers me the most is that sometimes I have to hide. I have to lock my room so that no one will come in and bother me or see me, I must isolate my entire being completely, and pray that they’ll leave soon.

Why the hell should I have to insist on showcasing my unwillingness to talk? I don’t make the situation rude, my family does. They put me in a position where I have to actively display that I don’t want to come out. It’s fucking stupid. Just realize my boundary and don’t bother me if I don’t feel like talking, another very common trait of the socially anxious. (Not that they recognize that it’s an actual illness or anything, either.)

It’s not like that with everyone — I invite friends over all the time, I go to friends’ houses all the time. It’s just these goddamn relatives that are going to start asking me shit like what I’m planning to do in my life, what my major is, if I have a job right now.

Basically, they want to find any chance to feel disappointed in me.

And hoho, boy jolly, am I the prime target for it. Didn’t go into Engineering. Doesn’t have a career path. Is currently in Communications as a major.

Do you see my point.

I’m so exhausted of this constant on-and-off routine — Everyone knows the real intentions, we’re all aware of them. But no one ever blatantly says them in fear of being criticized as different. Ooh, how scary.

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